Friday, December 21, 2012

Rekam Jejak 5-6 Desember 2012


Ini zaman edan.Zaman di mana cerita tentang "Kijang" bisa diplintir jadi tentang "Sedan".
Ini zaman teknologi bermutu.Satu foto, seribu cerita; tak kisah ceritanya asli atau palsu. 
Ini zaman Hak Asasi Manusia.Kecuali diri sendiri, semua yang lain boleh diganggu kedamaiannya.
Ini zaman demokrasi. "Kalau belum aku yang berkuasa, akan kubusukkan mereka yang sedang memimpin kini." 
Ini zaman nasionalisme tinggi. Meski tak lagi dijajah Tuan-Noni, harus berani berkoar-koar di tengah damainya suasana pendidikan rakyat di tengah hari.
Ini zaman ajaib. Sebab seolah hanya yang berjanggut dan berjilbab lebarlah yang munafiq, yang lain cuma "manusia biasa" yang boleh beraib.
Aku? Butiran debu di pinggir kali. Menonton semua sambil bergumam dalam kunyah-kunyah cita-cita tinggi, "Duhai, aku mau diri yang terintegrasi dengan aturan Tuhan, lepas dari ajakan-ajakan maya dunia. Cukup sekali Tsunami."


Status Facebook, di-update di Tungkop, 5 Desember 2012.

Mendapat 77 likes dan 23 shares, saya masih merasa dunia masih saja belum seutuhnya bisa membuka mata tentang mana yang benar mana yang salah. Namun demikian, saya tidak khawatir. Sebab ada Yang Maha Melihat. Seperti yang saya update sehari setelahnya;


Allah tidak pernah tidur. Allah tahu tiap kronologis cerita, bahkan yang paling ngelindur.
Allah paling paham meski manusia kadang berusaha membuat suatu masalah kabur.
Allah selalu tahu, dalam niat dan konspirasi apa kita tercebur. 
Jika tidak di dunia, nanti di akhirat saja kita lihat, biar Allah yang memberikan keputusan, siapa yang sebenarnya berbohong dan siapa yang jujur. 
Selamat pagi para pencari kebenaran. Jangan pernah berhenti cuma karena tersandung satu dua batu. :)


Dan mengutip kata-kata seorang teman dalam salah satu statusnya di Facebook juga;

"Saya kasih tahu kenyataannya buat kalian2 yang ngomong anak LDK dan anak kantin. itu isu pantengong yang sudah dipelihara lebih puluhan tahun biar kalian bermusuhan. setelah tamat, kalian akan melihat dunia yang sebenarnya. kalian pikir kalian akan bisa hidup dengan anak kantin saja? atau anak LDK saja? tidak akan bisa. mungkin saja istri kalian nanti adiknya adalah anak LDK, ataupun teman kerja kalian adalah anak kantin. ataupun tentangga kalian adalah anak LDK atau anak kantin dulu. lalu kalian mau lemparan2 batu lagi? bawa lari kotak suara? koar2 kalian hebat? moga kalian cepat dewasa nak. yang kalian lakukan itu semua tidak berarti ketika kalian tamat kuliah. sooo...jaga perilaku agar jangan sampai sampai kalian menyesal dikemudian hari."

Sangat mengimpikan Universitas Syiah Kuala yang lebih cerdas dan intelektual, yang meskipun berbeda ideologi dalam berpikir dan menentukan solusi bagi pelbagai permasalahan yang ada, namun tidak sampai menunjukkan kebarbaran sambil mendongak bangga. Amin.

Monday, December 17, 2012

To A Man I Dearly Love

Once in a while, sometimes in life, you may feel a little down. Like me right now. No, I don't really have anything big in mind. Nothing that makes my life as if put onto a hot firing wire. It's just that certain time where you suddenly realize that you've been going on for far too long without having someone you dearly love to talk to beside you.

I have all thanks and gratitude to God for everyone around me right now. But really, somehow, everyone has that one hole in their heart which could only be filled but by particular person. That particular person you know has so great influence upon you. That particular person who defines who you are. That particular person that becomes the reason as to why you survive on every decision you take, including to stay within a situation you dislike greatly just because that particular person tells you to do so.

It is never wrong to love someone. It is even not wrong at all to have some tears poured upon our faces whenever we miss that someone. God had allowed the prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. to cry over his passed away child, Ibrahim. Then God sure is not going to stop me from crying over some longing too, right? It is such a twisted feeling, been going on for long and for some reasons, I learn to know that these love and longing that I have have been shaping one side of my personalities; "the melancholic poet", who never talks too bravely about any sort of confession. For most of my longings had never been expressed much but into prayers in silence or swept away with every other things in life that I have to do. And on top of that, that someone who has been creating this feeling in me, has been more often far than close to me; making the "missing period" worsen along the way.

I never got too understand on how your race becomes something that made some people kept on reminding me to never admit your presence in my life. To disguise it, at least, not to admit it. But really, words orally could be monitored, but who dared to stop love from growing inwards? Who could ever tell my heart from growing all seeds of admiring and learning so much from you even in the frequent distances spread between us for you still have much to learn out there?

I learnt to be able to get into other people's shoes, from you.

I learnt to respect other people even if they don't respect you back.

I learnt to befriend with self-loneliness and kept on smiling with it when everyone else got away from me.

I learnt to be content for not having as much money as other people's.

I learnt to believe in me when other people kept on pointing my weaknesses in my face.

I learnt to make positive judgments for all the things I don't have.

I'm sorry, this time, I can't hold my tears any more like you taught me always. For I'm missing you so badly yet I don't know how to express it. Knowing that you get sick from this distance is enough to have me worried but not doing anything worthy but praying. So far, I don't see any other man I could let my tears fall for. So far, I don't see any other man I could offer my remaining love for. It is for the prophet p.b.u.h and you and so far, no one else.

Dad, come home soon.


From a room built with your years of love, 17 Dec 2012.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Paragraf-paragraf Waktu

Senja bermuara
Padamu
Yang berderap pada satu mimpi
Tegak
Payung bagi tiap lalang dan kanopi

Fajar menyelimuti
Gigilmu
Yang dirayapi harap dan takut
Gelantung cita-cita rapi di sudut pagi
Berkancing doa

Malam mengetuk pintu
Yang pelan-pelan kuukir sejak baheula
Jeparaku sendiri

Dhuha adalah
Cahaya yang tertunda
Bagi penjelajah dunia yang mencari gulungan
Ilmu dan bijaksananya
Angkasa

Jejak-jejak kita kelana jauh dan fana
Jelma lorong dan gang yang tak berujung
Belum beralamat
Pada satu rumahpun

Padamu
Yang mencari makna
Yang belum punya nama 
Dalam diamnya lautan bisu

Aku 
Mengirim
Harapan 
Panjang-panjang, lengkap dengan mendungnya dunia sebagai layar


4 Desember 2012.
Saat makan siang di kantin RSUD Meuraxa.